I need everyone's opinion?

It looks like you've hit that awkward stage in life where you have realised that the adult world is a place of work and reality, but you still like the idea of childhood dreams and the easy 'not so much work' that most of us had then. Try writing down some of your fantasies, look where that got J K Rowling! I hear what you say about your childhood. But you can't go back and change everything. So you have to stop beating yourself up about it. I agree that hurting the dog wasn't nice, but there's nothing you can do now to change it. You need to make a definite decision that when you get up tomorrow, it will be the first day of your new adult life. Having dreams about our future and fantasising about where we what to be and what we want to do is natural at a young age. So from tomorrow, try and focus on what job you're after once you've finished college and how you're going to get it. So, after college, you'll be mixing with new people in a new work environment, they won't know your past. So just settle down and try and be yourself there and make new friends.